When aliens are involved, nothing is ever easy.
When traces of extraterrestrial components are found on a hitman’s victims, the crew at Area 52 are called in to follow the trail of dead bodies.
Will it lead them to his ultimate target in time or will this alien assassin complete his assignment on Earth, exposing the world to machinations of the dangerous Gamma Federation?
The Grumpy Old Gods are back in this fifth installment of mythical fun!
Thirteen writers took up the challenge with total irreverence, a great deal of wit, and, in some cases, more alcohol than was strictly necessary. This mythical author alchemy led to an anthology that is nearly-always amusing, somewhat insightful, and completely irreverent as we imagine the trickster gods of yore in retirement:
In Anansi and Robert go to Queens by J. Malcolm Stewart, the spider trickster Anansi is about to pull off the greatest prank in the history of the cosmos – and a humble spider named Robert from Queens is honored to be a part of it, at least until he isn’t.
When Thor’s hammer is stolen from Asgard, Loki reluctantly puts down his laptop long enough to get up to his old tricks in The (Mostly) Retired God of Mischiefby Vanessa Wells.
Only an idiot would try to trick a trickster god – right? In Huehuecóyotl and the Dead Irish Hero by E.J. Tedrow, we find out there’s always one smartass who thinks he can get away with it.
In Rules of the Game by Melanie J. Drake, the Goddess of Thieves desperately wants to retire – she just needs to find the right sort of patsy – er – person to take her place.
A group of retired Gods and Goddesses dragoon the Goddess of Mischief into a contest of wit and wiles in Blaze of Glory by Ronel Janse Van Vuuren.
What’s trickier than an ancient Goddess in the form of a cat? Certainly not a werewolf pack. We find out who is the cleverest in The Werewolf’s Old Clothes by Raven O’Fiernan.
Taranis and Cerne come out of retirement when some local musicians need a little help from some retired Gods on Harleys in It’s a Deal by Lyssa Medana.
Clever Ganesha is forced to get a little crafty when some bureaucratic nonsense upsets the order of the cosmos in Kaelan Strouse’s Ganesha the Trickster.
In That Kind of Mojo by Vanessa Finaughty, some young tricksters come to understand the value of experience when it comes to pranks.
Jemma Weir introduces us to a seemingly prosaic retiree named Ernie in Granddad Swap; another reminder that looks can be deceiving.
A bored nature deity with a lot of friends is a dangerous nature deity – just ask the president. In Bastille Dayby Carlton Herzog, Pan and his coterie of gods and goddesses form the Beguilers; they might not be able to dazzle them with brilliance, but they can certainly baffle them with bs.
Hailing from the bloody past of the Aztec empire, Huehuecóyotl is forced to make the decision between his pantheon and the innocent people who will die if they are revived in The Worst Trickster God of Allby Katharina Gerlach.
In Subterfuge, Sleep Deprived by Juneta Key, we visit the underworld to figure out who kidnapped the God of Sleep – spoiler alert, Hades isn’t a happy camper without his shut eye.
Pick up your copy of Grumpy Old Gods today!
*Warning: Reading Grumpy Old Gods anthologies can lead to uncontrollable laughter, grinning, snorting, and other signs of glee. Eating or drinking while reading this book may lead to choking with laughter. Ask your doctor if laughter is right for you. Seek professional help if your grin doesn’t go down after forty-eight hours. Not recommended for children, politicians, war criminals, or Zeus.
In any era, it’s hard to be a love deity (we privately think it might be harder for anyone who has to deal with one). In the fourth installment of the Grumpy Old Gods Anthologies, our writers took up the challenge of writing love gods with total irreverence, a great deal of wit, and, in some cases, more alcohol than was strictly necessary.
In Pan’s Lavatory by Greg Nagler, our favorite witchy duo of Lilly and Mable are back in action with a spine-tingling tale of a zombie adult film star and the Grumpy God who arranged for her to rise from the dead. Remember: if you are ever tempted to make a deal with an ancient deity that smells like lavender and hangs out in women’s restrooms around Valentines…don’t. Just don’t.
In Hit or Miss by V. S. Stark, St. Robert has to fill in for Cupid, even though he’s mostly in charge of weather and parking. Oh well, he’ll just go with what he knows and hope everything works out. You can’t lose if you combine parking and love, right?
Mortality by Vanessa Finaughty takes us to a fantastical world where vampires roam…and even with eons of experience, our hero might still need the help of a trickster god and some serious firepower to get the girl. For…reasons.
Award-winning author Katharina Gerlach reimagines the story of Venus in her heartrending story, Searching for Love. Proving that time, space, and gravity are merely obstacles to be overcome.
In Maid in the Mist by Joe Kogut, we meet a young detective who is already in love – though encountering a Naired might make his ‘happily ever after’ kind of…deader than he’d prefer if he isn’t very, very careful of how he handles the case.
Hearn Goes A Hunting by Nic Steven is the story of how the hapless God Hearn learns how to use the internet for a new type of hunting. Spoiler alert: he might find that he is the prey.
In The Guessing Game by Stella B. James, the long-suffering niece of Artemis is desperately trying to start a nice, normal relationship, while the goddess of the hunt tortures…well tests him to make sure he’s worthy.
A Magnificent Mistake by Shelby Kisgen tells the tale of the best-looking guy and the ugliest girl in the village while reminding us that you should never, ever, ever demand anything from a trickster goddess.
The L.O.V.E. Council by Ariel Barrios involves a god who might be known by another name – and the group of goddesses that aren’t going to take no for an answer when the fate of love is at stake.
Fatherly Love by Jocelyn Lasley takes us on a journey of discovery wherein a young demigoddess learns that love can’t be borrowed, earned, or taken by force – it has to be given freely or it doesn’t mean anything. (No matter how many upgrades you make to Cupid’s arrows.)
In The Muse of Marketing by Vanessa Wells, Eros isn’t happy with his current be-diapered state (and who would be?). A new Muse might be the answer. After all, good PR can solve a lot of problems.
NOTE: The stories in this anthology deal with love and sometimes sex. This stuff is funny, but it’s not going to be everyone’s particular brand of vodka: and if you are too young to drink vodka you need to ask yourself if you are old enough to read this.
Pick up your copy of Grumpy Old Love Gods today!